Self-Love

The best way to deal with self-doubt, overthinking, and doubt in the future, is to make space for it and understand that you are worthy of love. You don't need to find a “perfect boyfriend or girlfriend” to be happy: loving yourself means being your own kind of person. This can be done by accepting and understanding yourself, appreciating your strengths, and learning from your mistakes. Here are some steps to get started and understand what actual self-love is! 

 1. Stop comparing your life to others.

A lot of people feel like they are not good enough, don't have what it takes, or aren't doing enough. Instead of making excuses for not meeting standards and expectations, compare yourself to others who do - you're just as capable - you are successful - you've made good friends - have you had a job that is great work and pays well - what did your parents say about you? We all do better than others and there's no shame in admitting this fact. As long as we take ourselves seriously, that makes us more present, strong, resilient, and confident - so let's stop comparison!

 2. Take responsibility for your actions. 

It's easy to blame external factors for circumstances when things don't go as planned. But what it really means is that you make decisions based on whether something is right for you or wrong. If you want to change something, it will require that you take action on yourself first by taking responsibility for your choices and making progress toward improving whatever situation you have chosen. So instead of criticizing yourself and feeling bad about yourself, focus on changing yourself for the better. For example, if something feels impossible or embarrassing, ask yourself why you thought that was the case, then try asking someone else for advice about it. Be open to help that might come.

 3. Don't let fear control your life. 

To move forward, you must face up to fears. Our fears keep us stuck, hold us back and prevent us from reaching our full potential. They often make us avoid things we know we want to do, even when we know more would be better for us. To overcome these kinds of obstacles, you need to learn to embrace and forgive those fears. After facing them head-on, it is easier to move past them and pursue what is important to you. There are many ways to cope with fears: acceptance, visualization, journaling, meditation, etc. Once you accept that they are there and see that their effects don't last forever, you can begin moving past them and become the version of yourself you want to be. 

 4. Accept yourself as your highest calling and live your truth. 

To live your truth, you must be honest with yourself. No one can ever convince you to fake it to fit certain expectations and norms you've developed in your life, especially if those expectations conflict with your real needs. Living your truth is what allows you to meet your fullest potential, fulfill the desires you feel you were born with, and enjoy life more fully for yourself and for all that surrounds you. Your true nature is also the only one you are bound to, which means you can't change yourself in ANY way. That is why every choice you make has consequences: it leads you down different routes, where you encounter different challenges, and ultimately has outcomes. Whatever path you choose, remember that your experience is a gift. Keep going! When you allow yourself to acknowledge and appreciate your true nature – your passions, your weaknesses, your emotions, and your wants and needs – then nothing will hold you back! Yes, there will be moments when you feel overwhelmed or unsure about the direction you're heading, but they don't define who you are. Just acknowledge those feelings and move forward!

 

 5. Set goals that reflect who you are. 

Think about your deepest aspirations - and ask yourself when you have accomplished things in your life that you would have done differently. Ask why you're here, or where you're headed. Then think about what you want to accomplish and how you'll get there. Some examples include becoming financially independent, having children, working on a dream, or traveling to another country. Once you have set meaningful goals, you can use them to measure your progress, show off your accomplishments and build support systems. Challenge yourself to move forward using your enthusiasm and optimism. Use positive affirmations to remind yourself of what you're worth. 

One final note - never confuse motivation and achievement. Motivation is the desire to do something and achievement is the result of accomplishing it. You can create motivation by acknowledging what you want, working towards it, and celebrating your successes - without worrying about whether you'll get there. By recognizing your dreams and ambitions and setting achievable goals, you make it easier for yourself. Eventually, you'll make significant strides towards that big goal, and that can energize you with confidence and energy